Sunrise in southern New Mexico – looks like the clouds are being pulsed this morning
Tuesday December 6th, I sit by a little campfire with hot yerba matte in a thermos and my journal after taking photos of the sunrise. Great way to start the day.
Still some autumn colors even thought it is December
Later, as the wind picks up, I do inside projects: editing, checking email, and cleaning out the storage closet. It is too windy to play the cello outside today. In addition to his ham radio studies, Clifford is studying flavins, as they may play a role in detecting disease. This knowledge will tie in with his CI work.
Wednesday December 7th, I had a very good dream about Mom before I woke up. I saw her in the camper and I said “I wish you were really here” and she answered “I am really here,” and then I gave her a hug. There was more to the dream, but enough said. As well as the usual daily activities, we do some home repairs: reinforcing a shelf that looks like it might come down, fixing the toilet lid, making a cover for the outdoor outlet, and such things.
Thursday December 8th, I take photos of the rising sun showing through a break in the clouds, but it too windy for a campfire this morning.
The sun rises, silhouetting the old cottonwood trees
Even though the sky clears by afternoon, the wind continues all day, so I can’t play cello out. However, it is a far warmer cry than where we were a year ago at Three Rivers, New Mexico, not all that far from here.
Clearing of clouds
More editing, write another blog, and clean storage shelves today. In tiny homes, such as RVs, everything has to be stored just so, or it doesn’t fit. There is always some area or another that is ready for reorganizing.
Friday December 9th starts out as a chilly 21 degrees, but it is calm, hooray, and sunny. I try to get photos of the cranes as they fly overhead from wherever they spend the night to nearby fields, but my camera doesn’t focus as fast as I need it to, so I miss a lot of shots.
Cranes overhead
We make a trip to Arrey to see if we have mail and get a couple of items at the grocery store. On the way back, we check out Riverside, the lower part of nearby Caballo State Park to get a sense of the layout, as that is where we plan to go next.
I have a nice long session with the cello in the afternoon as the temperature reaches into the low 60’s. More editing, blog writing, and answering emails in the early evening, along with chatting with my daughter, Becka.
Saturday December 10th is sunny and calm in the morning. After breakfast, I clean the fridge, and then Clifford and I go for a walk in the woods along the river.
Rio Grande River below Percha DamWalking in the woodsCarol and Clifford in the woods along the Rio Grande RiverGood-bye to the river
We flush lots of birds, I’m guessing flocks of quail and doves, see abundant deer tracks, and best of all – we see a beautiful fox run across the little meadow area where we are walking. Back at camp, even though the wind has picked up, I play cello outside – a 5-clothespin day, which means I have to use 5 big clothes pins to hold the music on the stand, but it is warm enough to be doable. More editing in the evening. Being at a campground with electricity sure is a convenience.
Friday December 2nd, after spending last night at the Socorro Walmart, we arrive at Percha Dam State Park in southern New Mexico around noon. I am very happy that the site I was hoping for is available. It has a shelter with a rock wall windbreak, a campfire ring, and a big back yard, with woods beyond.
Campsite with stone windbreak and big back yard
After we get set up, it is still warm enough that I can play cello outside for awhile, serenading the trees and the birds.
Percha Dam cello in our big back yard
Lots of birds winter here, including Sandhill cranes, which we can hear not far away. After dinner, I read for bit before heading to bed. Clifford stays up late, working with his ham radio gear.
Saturday December 3rd, it was very windy and a bit of rain last the night.
A camp elf dances in the wind
We are grateful for Terry being dry and cozy, as it is chilly and windy all day – a good day for inside activities, including phone calls, emails, editing, writing and posting a blog, writing and posting a statement in favor of the Standing Rock people, and finishing the novel I started recently. The only outdoor activity is a bike ride down to the restroom at the other end of the campground. During my quiet time this morning, from the book “The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness, and Peace” by Jack Kornfield, I read The past is over: Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past. That is very profound, knowing how hard it has been for me to accept certain aspects of my past.
Sunday December 4th, I walk down to the Rio Grande River at sunrise, hoping to spot the cranes that we hear and see overhead. No such luck and sadly, the Rio Grande River is exceeding low, the life nearly drained out of it with the dam and agriculture. Windy for much of the day, so spend time inside doing bookwork, editing for Ang, and working on CI email. In the afternoon, as the wind calms, I am able to play cello outdoors while there is still sunshine at the campsite. The late afternoon sunlight lights up the mesa to the east and the trees at the campground.
Mesa to the east at sunsetCamp trees at sunset
Monday December 5th, 19 degrees this morning and the frost is really quite pretty – probably as close to snow as we are going to get on this trip.
Frost in the morning light
The day is sunny and calm with the temperature reaching to 65 degrees by afternoon. We go to the nearby little village of Arrey to mail a few items and set up our general delivery address. Back at camp I play cello outside, with an audience – the fellow from the neighboring campsite comes over to listen. The blog for today was my trip to Montana – kind of a hard one to write, as my mom’s passing has been sad for me. Clifford continues to work with his radios and with a portable visible-NIR spectrometer for CI research. We certainly keep busy!
The mountain to the north as seen from our campsite
Friday November 25th, the morning is sunny and calm at Cochiti Lake. Today I start editing the next book in the Novels of Shannon series, an amazing epic fantasy series that happens to be written by my daughter, Angela MacDonald. In the afternoon, it is warm enough sitting on the sunny side of Terry to play my cello outside, even though the thermometer reads 54 degrees.
Warm enough to play the cello outdoors today
I search for the lost necklace I got from my mom and am sad that I can’t find it anywhere; the sadness is really more about losing my mom, and knowing that someday I will lose myself, at least in the way I know me now.
Saturday November 26th, I head down to the restroom at dawn.
Cochiti Lake at dawn
As the sun rises, the mountains to the north take on a pretty color.
First light on the mountains to the north
Today is windy, so no playing cello outside. Good day to be inside: write in the journal, edit a chapter for the Montana author, edit another 10 pages for Ang, send thank you emails to recent CI donors, post a blog/photos of Canyonlands NP on my website, and edit photos for the next blog. This evening a tooth is feeling very tender in spite of good dental care. Not a great way to end an otherwise very productive day.
Sunday November 27th – there was rain in the night and a dusting of snow can be seen on the mountains to the north this morning.
A dusting of snow
Our long-time Tesuque friend, John, comes out in spite of the very windy day. We get caught up on the news and I fix lunch for us. Then John, bless his heart, helps Clifford change Terry’s regulator. Hooray! No more leaking propane. In the later afternoon, Clifford has a business call, while I do another blog with photos for the website – Mesa Arch, which are some of my favorite photos on this trip so far. Edit several more pages for Ang. This evening, my jaw is a little swollen – not good.
Monday November 28th, a very pretty morning,
A very pretty morning
but we will not be here to enjoy it, as a trip to Urgent Care in Santa Fe is the priority for the day. See a good doctor at the Urgent Care; he prescribes an antibiotic for me and recommends his dentist, with whom I make an appointment for Thursday. On the way back to Cochiti Lake, we get groceries while picking up the prescription; not a happy shopping experience what with the pain and swollen jaw. Arriving at the campground, we find out that the campground is closing Wednesday, which makes for complications since I have a dentist appointment the following morning. Oh well, I am not up to figuring it out tonight. I make soup for myself for dinner and then go to bed, leaving the dishes for Clifford.
Tuesday November 29th, my jaw is more swollen than ever, but the Urgent Care doc warned me this could happen, so not to worry.
Dawn photos of Cochiti Lake – different day, different light, different color
Since the campground is closing, we will not be in the Santa Fe area as long as we had planned and what with this tooth issue, even the days that we have in the area will not be spent visiting friends. Bummer. Phone calls and texts give friends a heads-up that our plans have changed. With the weather being what it is, there is not really anywhere else near Santa Fe where we can go; we must head south instead. The dentist office calls; they can see me tomorrow instead of Thursday, which will work much better for us.
Morning view from our front door
Wednesday November 30th, we leave for Santa Fe as early as possible, as one thing I had wanted to do in Santa Fe was shop at Natural Grocers, Trader Joe’s, and Hobby Lobby – stores that are not in the smaller towns that we go through. After the errands, we head to the dentist office for a consultation; the tooth is pulled and bone graft material added. With Care Credit I have several months to pay it off. We go back to camp, unload the groceries, and then Clifford heads back to Santa Fe to pick up mail that John has collected for us; I just wasn’t up for waiting around that long. I have sweet potato soup and tea for dinner, talk to my daughter, Becka, and then read in bed until Clifford returns.
Wednesday, November 23rd, we take advantage of Walmart and Dollar Tree in Cortez, Colorado, after parking overnight at the Walmart parking lot. Heading south to Shiprock, New Mexico, and then east through Farmington to Bloomfield, New Mexico, I am dismayed at the unattractiveness of the scenery. The land, in its natural state, would have its own special kind of stark beauty, but the coming of the “white man” and the subsequent mining, drilling, and construction has left the land trashed. To see this is sad to me.
South of Bloomfield, in the badlands owned by the BLM, is the Angel Peak Recreation Area, our destination for tonight. The road into the campground is muddy in spots due to the recent rains, and I am a bit uneasy on the drive in, but we arrive intact and find a campsite with a great view of the badlands and Angel Peak.
Set up with a view of Angel Peak
After we get set up, although a bit breezy, it is mild enough that I can play cello outside for awhile.
Angel Peak Cello
Later in the afternoon, I hike out to a view point and strike up a conversation with a very friendly lady from Pennsylvania who is here taking photos.
Photo taken by a friendly lady
We have a nice chicken dinner with pan-roasted potatoes and carrots, kind of a pre-Thanksgiving dinner, since we will be traveling a longer distance tomorrow. Big gusts in the night cause Terry to shake now and then. Although this place has a unique beauty, I would not want to stay longer; something about it doesn’t quite sit right with me.
Thursday, November 24th, Thanksgiving Day. We have breakfast, pack up, and are on our way by 10:00.
Dawn at Angel Peak Recreation Area, New MexicoBadlands of New Mexico with Angel Peak in the background
We talk about environmental concerns as we drive, as the need is so obvious with the land being trashed, the sky polluted, and drought taking its toll. We arrive at Cochiti Lake Campground in the afternoon and find a good site with a view of the mountains to the north and an arm of the reservoir behind us.
Mountain range to the northAn arm of Cochiti Lake behind us
I send messages to my siblings and my kids, being grateful for them and wanting to know how they are all doing. Becka calls and as she tells me what she is fixing for Thanksgiving dinner, I am inspired to make a fancy applesauce to go with our left-over chicken. Matt also calls and almost everyone else sends me a text in reply to my message.
We hear cranes overhead – I wonder if they are stopping at the reservoir for the night; I think it is too far north for them to be wintering here.
We are glad to be here and looking forward to spending a few days with no travel.
Saturday, November 19th is a sunny day, so I take care of some CI business while my laptop is charged, even though I would much rather be outside. By the time this is done, even though the high today is only 53 degrees, it is warm enough to play cello on the sunny side of Terry.
Cello on the sunny side
With the steep mesas east and west of us, there are not many hours of direct sunlight, so as soon as the sun goes behind the mesa, I extend my outdoor time with a cheery campfire. When it is too dark to write in the journal, I head inside to fix dinner and later do some editing for the Montana author. Goodness, the days go by so quickly…..
Sunday, November 20th is a walk-about day, looking for wood and just enjoying being outdoors, even though it is overcast and not a great day for photos. It is warm enough to play cello outdoors, which is always a good thing. I start writing a blog with photos of our trip. Last year I did a daily post with photos, but not sure that will happen this year, as I am so far behind. Clifford is experimenting with ham radio antennas and studying for the next test to upgrade his license. Some of what he learns can be applied to work in the lab.
Monday, November 21st is a town day to buy supplies and do laundry. At the Visitors’ Center, using the free wifi, I am able to post the first blog of the Winter Journey 2016-2017 on my website with links to FB for those who want to follow along. After we finish up there, we walk in the pouring rain to the museum in the next block. The deluge of rain continues as we leave Moab, and heading up the canyon to the campground, we see numerous waterfall with water dropping hundred of feet from the cliff tops to the river canyon below. I want to take photos, but there are no safe places to pull over until we get closer to camp.
Numerous waterfalls appear and then are gone
By then, the rain has let up, and as unexpectedly as they appeared, the waterfalls disappear. It was quite a sight to see, while it lasted. Back at camp, I put away clothes, remake the bed, and clean the fridge. Clifford continues with his studies.
Tuesday, November 22nd is travel day. Since I am up before Clifford, I have time for tea and saying good-bye to the river. This has been a good stay for us; I’m sorry that we have to leave, but we are lucky to have had such mild weather this time of year and we need to move on further south. After Clifford is up, we begin packing up. As we are leaving, we take photos of an interesting rock formation/geological event: it appears the big boulder at the campsite probably fell at least 1,500 feet from the top of the cliff, perhaps eons ago.
Interesting formation on the cliff, at least 1,500 feet above the campgroundThe big boulder at the edge of the campgroundLeaving Big Bend Campground
I had called regarding camping at Mesa Verde National Park in Colorado and that is our destination for tonight, but once we arrive there, we find that we were given misinformation on the phone and there are no campgrounds open. The only rest area in the vicinity clearly states no overnight stays, so we go on back to Cortez (Colorado) and spend the night in a spacious Walmart parking lot. This town is not a place I’d like to live, but we are grateful for a place to stay overnight.
Tuesday, November 15th, this morning I find a little yellow butterfly dead on the ground, but in perfect condition. Very special, as butterflies were Mom’s ‘thing’ and it is totally unexpected to find one here at this time of year.
A perfect butterfly
After breakfast, I make a thermos of tea and then walk down to the day use area where there is a gravel and sand beach. I sit there on a rock with the river right at my feet, drinking tea and writing in my journal.
Along the Colorado River
After a walkabout to gather abandoned firewood, I sit at a picnic table at a nearby campsite where I can see the river and write postcards to family.
View of the east mesa through the trees
Back at our campsite, I play my cello, sitting in the sun, while Clifford sits on the shady side to study until after the sun goes behind the mesa.
Sitting in the sun, playing the celloSitting in the shade, Clifford studies
This was really quite a lovely outdoor day.
Wednesday, November 16th, I am up in time to get photos at sunrise.
Photos at before sunrise
I make a cup and tea and start reading Jonathan Livingston Seagull, which I am sure I read eons ago, but I want to read it again now. After breakfast we head to Moab for errands and to use the wifi at the Visitors’ Center. We take a break from catching up with emails and other internet business to go to the Moab Brewery for lunch, then return to the Visitors’ Center to finish up our business. On the way back to the campground, we stop at a spring outside of town – water coming right out of the side of the cliff – to fill up our gallon jugs. Back at camp, I take photos of the river just before sunset.
Colorado River near sunsetOne minute later
I edit until the laptop battery goes dead and then finish reading Jonathan Livingston Seagull: seek your own highest level of perfection and don’t be limited by the flock mentality. Good advice for all of us.
Thursday, November 17th, we are up at 4:00 a.m. to secure anything that might be blown away and close the visor over the window at the end of the camper. Shortly after we go back to bed, the rain starts, light at first and then a real downpour. It is still raining when I get up; I go for a walk, taking photos in the rain. The rain has stopped by time Clifford gets up, but it is cloudy, windy, and chilly all day. Good day for inside activities: I reorganize some storage areas, write in my journal, and even play the cello inside. We are grateful for Terry’s sturdiness, as we stay comfortable and warm in our “tiny house.”
Friday, November 18th is another beautiful sunny day.
Sunny day along the Colorado River
Today we go to the Red Cliff Museum, about seven miles further out on Highway 128 from where we are camped.
Driving out Highway 128 to Red Cliff Museum
This museum features the movies that have been made in this area because of its scenic value. Starting in the early 1950’s and up to the present, about 60 movies have been made here, everything from old westerns to Thelma and Louise.
View of the the Colorado River and mesa from Red Cliff Ranch
Back at camp my laptop has been recharged via the solar panels and the hotspot is also working, so I check email and bank balances. I am glad that I was able to spend most of the day outdoors, and it is also nice to have the laptop and hotspot charged for evening activities.
Sunday November 13th is catch-up day: After taking photos of the Colorado River, I write in my journal, check email and bank balances (hotspot internet is very marginal, but better than nothing), and do some editing for the Montana author. We figure out where the propane smell is coming from – the regulator will have to be replaced.The campground is nearly empty today, so I walk about salvaging leftover firewood.
Walkabout looking for firewoodBeautiful blue sky day
Once the sun goes behind the mesa to the west, the temperature drops considerably, even though it is still light out.
The sun goes behind the mesa to the west
I take a few more photos of the river before making a campfire to extend the daylight time outdoors.
Colorado River downstream in the late afternoonColorado River upstream in the late afternoon
When it is too dark to read or write by the light of the campfire, I come in and make applesauce with some of the apples that I had gathered back in Idaho, amazed that they have lasted so long.
Monday November 14th is a town day for us and we head to Moab right after breakfast for groceries, laundromat, and several other short errands. Back at camp, I put groceries and clean clothes away, thinking about how Mom and I, after a trip to the laundromat when I was a kid, would fold heaps of clean clothes while my younger siblings would scamper off with piles of folded clothes to be put away. I call my sister Lillian to share the memory, but no answer, so just leave a message. Lots of memories, lots of feelings to work through.
The mesa to the east takes on a rich color as the sun sets
Friday November 11th, after a long layover in Salt Lake City in the wee hours of the morning, it is with great relief that I board an uncrowded bus that takes me to Moab, where Clifford is waiting. We get propane and a few groceries, before going to the Moab Brewery for a good lunch. Then on out to Horsethief campground just outside Canyonlands NP where Clifford camped while I was gone.
Clifford’s campsite at Horsethief Campground
It is a big campground with roomy sites and views of the mesas; it would be nice to stay here for awhile, but the 14-day limit has been reached. I unpack my bags as Clifford and I catch up the news. I am exhausted, feeling caught between two worlds.
Sunset at Horsethief Campground
Saturday November 12th –Since I am up before Clifford, I go for a walk on the trail near our campsite, getting photos of the sunrise. I like it here; too bad we have to move.
Sunrise at Horsethief Campground
As soon as Clifford is up, we pack up and head toward Moab and east on Highway 128. We are fortunate to find an available site at the Big Bend Campground along the Colorado River, about six miles out from Moab.
Colorado River upstream from our campsite at Big Bend CampgroundGetting set up. Notice Clifford putting up his ham radio antenna.Colorado River downstream from near our campsite
After we get set up, we realize that we left the sensor for the weather station at the Horsethief campground, so we have to drive all the way back out there to get it.
Autumn colors along the road back to Horsethief CampgroundAn interesting formation along the road to Horsethief CampgroundCanyonland vista
Returning to our new campsite, we take naps, only I can’t sleep, the words of Dave van Ronk’s song “Motherless Children” going through my head. I get up and write a short blog about the void in my life created by Mom’s passing. Dinner is late; I am too tired to do dishes tonight, so leave them for Clifford and go to bed.
Thursday October 27th our friends leave and we move to a different site, but are still in Dead Horse State Park. Finally this morning I am able to talk to Mom and we have a good conversation. I tell her I am working on getting a bus ticket so I can come see her and she tells me about her ride to the hospital in an ambulance. We say our I love you’s and our good-bye’s, hoping that it is not the last time. In the afternoon, one of my daughters calls: at the meeting with Mom’s doctor today, the game-plan was changed from a plan for rehab to comfort care only. I know it is time for me to go and I finally talk to a human being at the bus depot in Missoula to get the information I need. Tomorrow morning Clifford will take me to the nearest bus depot that we know of – Green River, about 60 miles away. I pack a couple of bags with enough clothes for a week, laptop, journal, camera, and snacks for the 22 hour bus trip. In the afternoon, Clifford and I drive out to the Dead Horse Point, which is a very scenic view of the canyon and Colorado River below. I try not to think about the bus trip and what lies ahead, but just stay in the present moment and enjoy the grandeur of the landscape.
Dead Horse Point
Utah as sen from the bus heading north
Friday October 28th to Thursday November 10th: My mom knows I am coming, but sadly, she passes on before I get to the hospital. Her body had been failing since her 90th birthday, but her mind was sharp and her faith strong to the end. She was surrounded by her family whom she loved and who loved her; she was ready to go and left peacefully. But her going creates a void in my life – a huge indescribable void. I wonder how it is for all who were close to her. Are they tempted to explore the void to see if there are treasures there to be discovered; are they tip-toeing around the void, afraid if they fall in they will be swallowed up never to return; or will they turn their back, walk away, pretending the void doesn’t exist?
Photo taken with Mom’s little camera that I had helped her pick out; suits my mood.
I stay at Mom’s house, walking from room to room looking at her stuff, feeling her presence. I help my siblings in regard to planning the funeral, writing the obituary, and am one of several people who speak at the funeral service. I am very grateful to all the family members who contribute their time and effort to make the funeral a special event.
The flower arrangement on the casket made by one of Mom’s nieces
My brother Rollie plays at the Sunnyside Cemetery
In the days that I am here, I begin the process of organizing and preparing for an estate sale. Coming across her Christmas tree and ornaments that she had collected or made, I decorate the tree, recalling how beautifully Mom always decorated our Christmas trees when we were kids..
The Christmas Tree
As my siblings and all of our families come to the house in regard to disposing of Mom’s stuff, a spirit of generosity and helpfulness prevails. There is no fighting over this or that, rather everyone is thoughtful and considerate. Most of my kids are around, at least part of the time, even those who have come from afar. It is a special time of closeness with both my siblings and my kids.
Sunrise from Mom’s front steps – she would have loved seeing it
I stay for a week after the funeral, having done as much as I can to make things easier for my siblings, knowing that the greatest part of the burden is still on them to prepare the house for sale, while missing the regular interaction that they had with our mom. I am torn in that I would like to stay and help them, but Clifford is in southern Utah waiting for my return. We are fortunate that the weather has been moderate for this time of year, but it is time for Clifford and me to head further south for the winter, so with heavy heart, I say good-bye to everyone and board the bus, heading south once again.
October 26th is a day with our friends, starting with breakfast at a cute funky place in Moab. Of course I took photos of them, but they have asked photos to not be posted.
Breakfast in Moab
Then we head up to Arches National Park. We make numerous stops for photos, the most interesting being the Sand Dune Arch and the longest hike being the hike to Landscape Arch. Our first stop is Balanced Rock; from the Balanced Rock Trail, one can see formations in the distance, including Turret Arch
First stop is Balanced Rock
Turret Arch seen from the Balanced Rock trail
A local resident of the area surveys his domain
Another view of Balanced Rock
Next stop is the Fiery Furnace Formation named for the warm glow of the rocks in the late afternoons. We are here too early in the day to witness the “fire.”
Fiery Furnace Formation
Fiery Furnace close-up
View across the basin seen from the Fiery Furnace Overlook
The Sand Dune Arch is most interesting to me, being hidden inside this formation. For this arch, the overhead sun brings the most color to the formations within the slot canyon.
Approaching the Sand Dune Arch
A tree growing in the slot canyon leading to the arch
The Sand Dune Arch rich with color at mid-day
Our last stop of the day in Arches National Park is a hike to Landscape Arch.
Formations on the trail to Landscape Arch
Formations of the trail to Landscape Arch
Arrival at Landscape Arch
Landscape Arch moments before sunset
After the hike back to the trailhead, we all go Moab to browse in a bookstore, followed by dinner at a nice restaurant. We check our phones while we are in town, as there is cell reception here, but not at the campground.
Texts from my siblings indicate that Mom is stable and their talk with her doctor includes looking into rehab for the next 20 days. I have called the hospital several times, but each time Mom has been asleep or otherwise occupied, so I have not been able to talk to her. Although the indication is that there is not an immediate need to go to Missoula, I continue to look into getting a bus ticket.
As soon as we arrive back at our campsite, I head to bed. Its been a long day for me.
